Ada sehari lagi kena kerja before cuti tahun baru tapi harini aku dah rasa macam esok cuti.
Rasa gloomy pulak. Mungkin sebab cuaca.

I'm planning to spend my weekend away from Pasir Gudang. Hopefully plan sukses walaupun sedikit kecewa since two of my dear friend cannot join the holiday. Sorang tak boleh pergi jauh since kakak dia tengah tunggu masa untuk bersalin. Dah macam dia pulak ngan nak bersalin. Sorang lagi pulak kalau sorang tuh takdok takmau pegi sebab takmau naik bas or driving sorang-sorang.

Haishh aku dah berimaginasi that we gonna have a good time at the beach, buat pillow talk and drooling over beach boys :)

Tapi itulah, kita hanya mampu merancang. I really miss them and it's been ages since me met.

2011.
Nothing new, nothing to be proud of, just like previous years. Sama aje. Perubahan langsung takdak. Makin teruk perangai adalah. Tapi itu perubahan jugak kan? Ahakz but I'm grateful for what I have right now.

Ada family dengan kawan-kawan yang sayang aku masa susah, kerja yang bagi aku duit tiap-tiap bulan untuk bayar hutang dan shopping, takdak sakit-sakit yang kronik and I'm happy.

Okay, maybe adalah mood swing here and there but whose to blame. I'm a lady and mood swing is a part of my hormone :)

Then I met a guy.
And I turned into the most childish creature ever.
I need to sort things up and tell myself whether I'm ready to be in a long-term committment or not since each time we having a fight, I'm the one who started it.

Trust, loyal and honesty is not something that can be given automatically. You have to earn it. My biggest issue is I cannot or wont give that chance to anyone including myself. I always have suspicious over something that do not exist. Lagilah bila di-provoke by other parties. Senang untuk curiga dan otak aku akan generate satu imaginasi tentang situasi-situasi yang langsung tak wujud.

This is not good fo me. In fact, dia macam virus, serang secara senyap-senyap sampai habis semua sel-sel baik dimakannya. So I need to drink more vitagen, minuman kultur yang ada beribu-ribu bakteria bagus untuk kesihatan. Eh?!

If I want to improve myself and having a healthy relationship, I need to change myself to become a better person.
Yang lain aku serahkan pada Allah since He the One that knows what the best for me, most important what I need the most in this life.

I managed to go to Sabah this year. Kota Kinabalu and Kundasang. Kundasang sangat cantik dan menawan kalbu. Jadi tinggal Sarawak aje belum sampai. Dulu-dulu pernah jugak tanam cita-cita nak kerja dekat sana or Sabah. Baru ada style balik kampung naik kapal terbang hahaha I still have that ambitious cuma akan pergi kalau dapat kerja dengan company idaman *secret* hihi

No new year resolution. It is like the most stupid thing to do. Tiap-tiap tahun, lepas tengok bunga api meriah dekat langit baru nak fikir what you gonna do with your life for that particular year? Pastu tahun baru akan datang buat lagi perkara yang sama. Macam loser. Nak berubah tak payah tunggu 1 Januari or Awal Muharram. You can make a change anyday anytime anywhere.

Lastly, I've started this blog with nothing last year and now dah ada macam-macam cerita walaupun aku tahu cerita pasal rebel and sad story lagi banyak dari yang berguna. But hey, my blog, sukeww ati leww I nak buat ape haha

Adiyos.